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336 A Burden Too Great To Bear

 When her eyes were completely opened, the sight of its condition shocked Yu Sha speechless.

Her eyes were pitch darkness as if there were no eyeballs but just empty sockets. With that, Yu Sha concluded that the elderly woman was blind, though she felt like the woman could sense and felt her movement. But with today's advanced technology, she could get an eye transplant. Why hasn't she?

"I can help passed on your words."

At this point, the same maid came back out with a tea set. She appropriately placed the filled tea cups in front each person and stepped away from hearing the conversation.

Seeing the elderly woman's eyes, Yu Sha lost the will power to spoke of her condition.

The elderly woman closed her eyes again and then asked, "Are you hear to offer yourself?"

Stunned, the woman hit it in the nail. It was part of the deal. "Mm..." Was all Yu Sha could reply.

The elderly woman chuckled again. "Your mother must have told you nothing."

Hastily, she asked in amazement, "You know my mother?"

"Why not, I birthed her."

Feeling even more shocked, the cup in her hand slipped and bang on the pearl table. 'So, this woman is my grandma?' "Do you know who I was from the start?"

"Why do you think I let you entered and observed me for sometimes before making a move?"

Ugh... She thought it was because of her skills, but she thought too highly of herself. This grandma of hers, what kind of person was she to detect her presence way before she approached the estate? Could she have the same ability as Hue Chi?

Too much information hit her one after another. At this point, there was no reason to hold back her purpose. She explained. "I came here to learn more about my mother, but my ultimate goal was the successor. I came with the intention to extract information and offer myself to serve the clan and relieved my brother of the responsibility. Of course, if I can't, then at least I want to stand beside him."

Hearing Yu Sha's ultimate goal, a bittersweet smile crept on the elderly woman's face. She paused for a moment and shooed Yu Sha away. "Go back. Don't be so quick to make a decision when you know nothing of the burden of your decision."

Trouble by the statement, Yu Sha responded, "But I know the burden of not ever knowing anything." She was determined and wouldn't return unless she gets a firm statement. "If I knew my parents would happily tell me, I wouldn't make my way out this far and deep into the Light Clan's territory."

Sensing that Yu Sha refused to budge, the elderly woman was at a loss. After contemplating within herself, she made a statement. "One can only be a successor if they cut off all emotional bonds and ties to their family, children and those they loved. The greatest tragedy to life is to live without having to experience joy, freedom, and love."

Yu Sha couldn't grasp what her grandmother meant. Does it mean she had to let go of her current life? Why? What's wrong with being a compassionate leader?

"Why can't one have both?" Was her greed too much to want both, power and happiness?

At this point the elderly lady opened her eyes again and stared directly into Yu Sha. "My eyes are the outcome of greed, wanting both, power and happiness. Within the Light Clan, ran a deep dark secret and curse. The curse was the sins, the many thousands of lives sacrificed, their pain, anguished, suffering, and blood stain sacrificed for the power held today." Yu Sha's grandmother stared into the distance as recalling a memory of the past. "This curse, doesn't kill the successor but those who the successor cherished. The curse will slowly eat away organs and parts of the person the successor held dear." She turned towards a corner where a tombstone was at and continued, "The death of my son and my sight was the outcome. In order to stop the curse, one must cut away all emotional ties. That person will forever walk a cold, lonely road to life, shut out all emotions and will most likely die alone with no one by their side. This was the fate of all the predecessors."

The dark secret revealed shook her heart relentlessly. She stuttered, unable to express her thoughts. 'So, if mamma took over, would she have to cut her emotions off to save those she loved? She would have to live alone, die alone? If Yu Ping took over then what?' Yu Sha couldn't fathom the choices they would have to make. Now, how her parents raised them, their family dynamic was different from others was because of this very dark secret. Was that why her mother doesn't often embraced them and often goes in between two extremist of the pole, being overly lovey dovey over them for a moment and then the next moment, step back and seemed shut out?

She remained wrapped in her own thought and didn't have an answer. Yu Sha stood up and spoke, "I'll give you an answer the next time we meet."

With that she turned to walk away, but not without taking a moment to glimpse at the tombstone. 'Was he the child the successor cherished the most? Was that why he was the first to go?' In this moment, she felt her problems were too insignificant. She felt like she lost a war before even going to the battlefield.

She was too selfish and only thought of herself. She thought she could solve the world's problems but she was just an arrogant child who grew up behind her parents' undivided love and attention. She knew nothing of the reality. She was proud of the very few lives she saved and helped.

She wandered back like a corpse. Those words repeated over and over in her mind. A burden too great to bear.