Fantasy Romance Xianxia Anime Sci-fi Historical WNMTL
Home > Searching For You

320 A Sin Too Big

 She had always used brute force to win over him, but ever since solving the piece of their life in the distant past, she wished to be nicer to him.

'Does she wanted to get away that bad?' Hue Chi closed the distance between them and stood before Yu Sha. His gaze was still on her, studying every minute detail from her body gesture to facial expression. She was the type that wouldn't yield, even when cornered to the wall, she would either create a path straight forward or knock the wall down. What made her docile?

Sensing his domineering figure and gazes that could swallow her up, regret sunk in. How should she have phrased her words earlier? Did it give him the wrong ideas? Each step he took towards her, she took a small step back as his energy overwhelmed her.

When her hand felt the wall behind her, she knew it was a grave mistake to ask nicely. She stuttered, while her mind thought of a plan, "I... I take back what I said." And turned to run.

Hue Chi was already within arm reach at this point and reached out to pull her back, giving her a back hug. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and nested his chin on top of her head. In a soft low tone, he murmured, "If you go out now, you'll be caught."

Being this close, her fragrance assaulted his senses, and it took that much more to control himself. He let out a long sigh of relief and contentment. He had found the missing puzzle piece to his life, yet conflicted just as much. What's he going to do to keep her?

Yu Sha remained still. Although some parts of the past lives came to her, she was still trying to make sense and had yet fully absorbed everything in. She doesn't know if she should face him as the current her or the past her? The memories and emotions that long waited to come to her, that made her restless night after night, was this it? Him?

To her knowledge, he wasn't supposed to exist, not his consciousness, not his soul, nor even a fragment of him. She was the person that made the decision to run the Eternal Blade into him. At that time, she was too desperate and chose to save her kingdom and people. It was a sin she couldn't forget, a sin too big to forgive herself.

Hue Chi wrapped his arms around her tightly. He long wanted a moment like this to embrace her in his arms, even though she may not feel the same. While savoring this moment in his mind and soul, he felt water ran down his arm, then a few more droplets of water. 'Was she crying?' The first thought that came across his mind.

Hue Chi turned her around to face him and caught a large teardrop escaped her eyes. Tormented of the tears that she shed, he reached a hand to wipe off the tear. He didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure if her cried were from the fact that he caged her here with him, or that she remembered something painful from the past.

Yu Sha pulled a hand to touch her face as if she was confused. "Was I crying?" She feigned ignorance, which started Hue Chi.

A confused look crossed his face. She knew she had to add more or it would not sound convincing. Yu Sha forced a laugh. "Haha... I was told when I was younger, this happened often. Tear would come for no apparent reason." She quickly wiped off the residual tears at the corner of her eyes and diverted her eyes from meeting his. If she looked at him, she may not be able to pull this off.

He knew what she meant. He was the first among them two to solve that part of her life. Does it mean that she hasn't remember anything? The emotions may have come, but not the memories? Or was it that the memories came, but she didn't know how to make sense of it yet? He, too, had to make sense of the things that came to him. It wasn't until recently he solved it with the help of having her around.

Feeling helpless of her situation, with one hand he pulled her onto his chest. "Silly girl. Be with me for a moment. I won't hold you here for long."

Why hasn't she figure out after all these times? He liked to tease her as if it was the only thing that brought him joy. She mumbled, "Hue Chi."

"Mm..."

"Do you enjoy seeing me get worked up?"

He replied bluntly, "Very much."

Frustrated, she pounced his chest. In all the instances he made things hard for her, she was at her wits' end, unable to tell if he meant it or was just teasing. She had to wreck her brain in order to weave her way out each time. What does he take her for?

"Why?" She asked. Was it because he knew from the beginning? Does he hate her? Or does he want revenge?

"Because I want to."

"Tsch..." She huffed, knowing he would not tell her his thoughts. "You have many choices to pick on. There are many within your arm reach?"

"Men tend to go for someone they can only dream to have." He spoke in terms of himself. She was someone he always wanted but somehow could never keep, as if the universe were against them being together.

Yu Sha instantly pulled herself out of his arms to stare at him. 'What does he mean?' She looked at him closely but couldn't understand. "What do you mean?"

"I meant as it is."

'Am I hard to reach? What if I told you how I didn't choose you then? Will you still feel the same?'

He stroked her hairs while many thoughts flashed through his mind...'Only if you knew, I screamed your name in my sleep. In my every waking moment, I reached out to you by different means, but couldn't hold on to you. Every time your back turned towards me, you walked forward without looking back. I, after all these times, still couldn't summon the courage to keep you.'