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237 I Dont Deserve

 In the bedroom, the moonlight escaped through the curtains. Hue Chi sat on the sofa while gazing at the woman he meant more than life to him. Soon, her brow twitched and she looked uncomfortable, as if she was having a nightmare. His placed a hand on her shoulder while he meditated and exerting energy to help her calm down.

In the same time and reality, her dreams overflowed his mind. A piece of the puzzle he could put together, the pain and suffering she went through that he wasn't even aware of. How she suffered because of him. He never knew her hardships. He was never there for her at her times of sorrow when she needed him most.

His heart ached and tears rolled down his face. He leaned in closer and planted a kiss on her forehead. One of his teardrop dropped on her face.

She flung her head to the side and moved slightly. Hue Chi disappeared from the room, afraid she may wake up.

Yu Sha woke up from the sad dream she had. She felt the teardrops on her face, unaware that one of those teardrops belonged to someone else.

Yu Sha sat up and wiped the tears from her face.

"Atlas, was I dreaming of your past?" Her heart felt unsettled, the restless feeling she felt since arriving in Aires. But since she met Hue Chi, and he constantly annoyed her, the restlessness feeling occurred less frequent.

Yu Sha removed the blanket and got up to get a breather. Whenever she had this restlessness feeling, the only cure was to go somewhere where the skies expand limitlessly. It was only in such a place that she felt she could rest and be calmed.

The last thing she remembered was calling the name Atlas. She assumed his past got mixed in her dreams. Because, she saw the portrait of that woman, and was strongly affected enough to see a glimpse of his past.

Yu Sha got out and sat on the balcony gazing at the twinkle stars. Her eyes soulless and emotions desolated.

Hue Chi hid at the side of the balcony door, watching Yu Sha. "Have you recalled your past? Will you hate me if you do?" He felt tormented that he wasn't by her side in her darkest moments, knew nothing of her pain and suffering. Yet at the same, he persistently fought to have a place in her heart.

He struggled to calm the throbbing pain in his heart and the hand that stabbed her.

'When I met you again on the battlefield, I couldn't even recognize you among the men on the field. What happened to you, I knew nothing.' The more he recalled, the more painful his hand throbs. Tears escaped down his cheeks nonstop. The one who rescued her after that ordeal wasn't him but Atlas. If he was Atlas, he too would hold a grudge against him.

'And after that, I never saw you again, until the lifetime afterward.' Hue Chi clutched his chest, trying to keep the raging emotion under control. He thought the whole time, he was fighting to create a world where she could be free but he was fighting to create a world to oppress her.

Hue Chi slumped backward towards the wall. Even in this current time, he doesn't even know who his enemy was. He had years to track down the enemy yet, had nothing on his hand. Could he really protect her? The world has changed with time. Just because he was born at the top of the pyramid, doesn't make him have absolute control of the world. The more he knew of her suffering, the less he wanted to have her close.

He couldn't make a single person happy, her, the woman he loves. Hue Chi scorned at himself with a sour expression.

The next day, Yu Sha woke up to the sun screaming at her face through the window. She woke up groggily thinking of last night. Last she recalled, she had a nightmare, went to the balcony and probably fell asleep on the balcony. How did she end up back on her bed?

She reached for her phone only to see that it was 2 hours passed her flight! Yu Sha gaped and shuffled the few clothes she took out the night before into her suitcase.

She rushed out to the living room and caught glimpsed of a desolate back staring into the distant skies. The loneliness of that person's back stopped her in her track.

Yu Sha froze looking at the back that felt so familiar, the many deja vu she sensed previously every time she saw this back towards her. 'Why does his back screamed so much sorrows?'

She crept up closer and called, "Hue Chi?"

Her gentle, soft voice brought him back. He turned his head to the side and glimpsed her in his peripheral vision.


"Are you okay?" She asked.

He turned his body around to face her. How could she after all these times, always asked about his health and wellbeing in the most critical time? Could she always feel his turmoil emotions?

Hue Chi gazed at Yu Sha without blinking, but his eyes felt distant.

"You okayed?" Yu Sha asked again.

"Do I not look okay?"

Her quirkiness kicked in. She replied, "Mm.. You looked like a man failed in love for the 37th times.

Hahaha..." She wasn't lying. That was exactly how she felt from his energy, loneliness and disappointment.

"Tsch.. For a person 2 hours late for her flight, you talked big." He muttered. It only took a sentence from her and he was back to teasing her. Her words held so much power to tame him.

"So you knew! Why didn't you wake me up!" She blamed him.

"I wasn't the one who overslept."

She defended, "But you could still had woken me up!"

Because he tempted her last night, she rushed to take a bath and then fell asleep afterward. She forgot to set the alarm.

She felt he was equally to blame!